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| I need some suggestions, guys. | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 19 2008, 08:49 PM (812 Views) | |
| kgreen20 | Jul 19 2008, 08:49 PM Post #1 |
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I posted this same request on the Prophecy Fellowship forum, and now I'm reposting it here. My heart needs to be reprogrammed. My heart has been programmed negatively, you see. I've been a child of God since I accepted Him in late childhood, but even though my spirit was--and is--regenerated, my heart has been a mess all these years. My head knows the correct facts about God, but convincing my heart to accept them is another matter. My head knows that God is love; God always does what is best for us; etc., etc. My heart, on the other hand, screams, "God will expect more of me than I can do; God will hurt me; God will take things from me that I like; God will make me give up things I enjoy and do things I hate." Etc., etc. My heart does an all-too-successful job of shouting down my head, so that I have a severe case of commitment anxiety. Trusting and surrendering to God scares me to pieces. Every time I even think about it, inordinate fear sets in. I'm posting this thread in the Bible Discussions BB, because my request pertains to Bible reading. One thing I need to do, in the hope of reprogramming my heart, is read passages in the Bible that focus on God's loving side, as opposed to His wrath and His demands. I'm all too aware of that side of His nature, and it scares me. I need to reprogram my heart so that it can trust in God's loving side, so that the fear--the commitment anxiety--will go away. To that end, I've stopped reading the Bible all the way through, at least for now. I'm not reading the Old Testament at present, because that's where the bulk of the anger and wrath accounts are. In recent weeks, I've been reading passages from the Gospel of John over and over, when I have my morning devotions, but I feel the need to branch out in my readings. Can anyone give me any suggestions as to Bible passages I could read and focus on? Any passages that will help reprogram my heart so that it won't get in my way anymore? Thanks for any help you can give me on this. BTW, just telling me, "Well, just trust and obey God!" won't really do the trick. With a fear as deep-seated as mine, just admonishing me to do the above won't overcome my fear. As I stated above, I need to reprogram my heart, so the fear will stop being an obstacle and so I'll finally be able to take that step. Kathy G. Edited by kgreen20, Jul 19 2008, 08:59 PM.
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| lionschild | Jul 19 2008, 09:06 PM Post #2 |
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Kathy, I find the pslams to be very comforting. Go to God and pour out your heart. Tell him you dont truly believe he loves you and you are afraid and anything else on your heart. He longs to be the one you share your deepest fears with. He WILL begin to answer and when he speaks to you in various ways write down what he says and put it where you can see it daily. Claim it as your own. I learned without a dought that God loves me by going thru hardships and also, sorry to say, by failing him, breaking his heart and watching him still persue me and forgive me when I only deserved death. Sweetie once you get into your HEART that God loves you, you will be able to go thru anything never doughting for a moment that he loves you and you can always trust him and his deep and even desperate love for you. The words to a worship song come to mind. (God is a lover looking for a lover so he fashioned my heart.) That is so true. |
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| Final Call | Jul 19 2008, 09:07 PM Post #3 |
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Bless you Kathy...you are well on your way to seeing the truth. Did you know I spent the first 20 years of my christian life feeling the SAME way? You know what turned me? LOVE..and learning that I AM loved..and that God is NOT waiting there with a big stick to clobber you every time you fall. If that was the case we would all be clobbered on a daily basis. No...Jesus wants to pick you UP when you fall. You have the heart FOR God...and that He sees and takes into account. God will reveal Himself to you Kathy. There re no amount of bible verses or sermons that will change your mindset...believe me..I TRIED.. Instead..God will show you personally just HOW MUCH you are Loved..and how PRECIOUS you are to Him..and He is going to PROVE Himself to you Kathy..wait and see. It will a very personal encounter..and you will melt in His Love. I know this Kathy..for I feel what God feels..and I have always felt a soft spot for you. I know you seek truth. You are not always correct but you are STAUNCH...and that is what God loves. Your unbending devotion. He will take you in His arms..and lead you gently beside the still waters. Wait and see...for it will be soon. I speak this of the Lord Kathy. Bless you precious daughter of the Most High. |
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| MoreofHim | Jul 19 2008, 09:11 PM Post #4 |
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I appreciate your courage to be honest Kathy, and willingness to make yourself vulnerable in this way. The Old Testament is a great source of comfort actually... try these scriptures Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 61:2-4 , Isaiah 40, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 66:13, Jeremiah 31:13, the Song of Soloman, and many of the Psalms, also Matthew 10:31. 
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| kgreen20 | Jul 19 2008, 09:14 PM Post #5 |
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Thank you so much, guys!  It's possible that you yourself know from experience, Final Call, but I suspect a lot of you might not. You may not know what it's like to be held back by this fear, to be told that you must trust and surrender to God, doing whatever He wants you to do, and being scared stiff to even take that first step. That has been my lot all these decades. And knowing that Satan'll probably pounce on me and attack me the minute I finally muster the courage to even try doesn't help matters. I hope that God will reveal His real self to me soon, Final Call, as I suspect that my gut-level concept of His nature is diseased. In fact, I know it must be, or this fear would not be such an obstacle. I pray that I'll soon encounter the real God, discover Him as He really is. In the meantime, I need His protection and His sheltering hand. I'm editing this to add that I've written down the Scripture references you suggested, MoreofHim; at least, they'll give me some extra passages for my morning Bible readings. What psalms do you suggest I zero in on? I'll tell you this: it's hard to grow spiritually when your gut-level concept of God is diseased. No doubt, that's why I'm stuck in spiritual babyhood. Imagine living with this inner scenario day after day: "If I finally trust and surrender, who knows what God will make me do? Or do to me? It won't be anything good." That's the inner mindset I've got to recover from. Edited by kgreen20, Jul 19 2008, 10:21 PM.
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| MoreofHim | Jul 19 2008, 09:54 PM Post #6 |
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I will find some additional scriptures for you and post them Kathy. Thank you so much for being honest and truthful about your condition. I'm praying for you now...
Oh... Kathy, God won't do anything to you, except draw near to you as you draw nigh to Him... a broken reed He will not break. You can talk to Him intimately and honestly like you might do with a husband or mother. You can admit your failings, fears, weaknesses. We have such privileges, through Christ, that we can come near to the Father... Kathy, did you have a good, loving relationship with your earthly Father? I hope I don't embarrass you by asking this question. You can PM me. It's when you throw yourself down on the floor, broken at His feet, and unable to help yourself... that Christ takes over. Then you will understand: "In my weakness, He is made strong."
You want to know what will happen to you...? It is just so wonderful. YOU WILL BE SET FREE! Just abandon yourself to Him Kathy... |
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| kgreen20 | Jul 19 2008, 09:57 PM Post #7 |
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Please, God, help me! I'm scared. |
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| TigerCat | Jul 19 2008, 11:46 PM Post #8 |
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Kathy, A section of scripture and verse I found very profound recently may help you. Ecclesiastes 5 verses 1-9, your attitude towards God. Verse 2 reads, Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few. In other words we must always be aware of our human nature, and really reverence in our supplications for whatever we bring to God; our hopes, our fears, our joys, our sorrows. Then we know that God is in heaven, sovreign ruler of all things who knows our getting ups and sitting downs. That greatly comforts me. Best wishes, TigerCat |
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| SpiritIsWilling | Jul 20 2008, 01:03 AM Post #9 |
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Kathy, rest assured that God already knows your fears and even your hurts. He knows the root of this fear that you have and why you cannot trust. He is your Father Kathy, and you ARE His daughter. He did not come to hurt or harm you. He came to love you unconditionally. He knows that you are not perfect or capable of being perfect, thats why He sent His ONLY Son to take our place and carry all of those burdens. The Lord is leading me to give you this link: Father's Love Letter 2 You Rest in His love Kathy. He will not harm you: Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
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Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? 
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| METHUSELAH | Jul 20 2008, 05:56 AM Post #10 |
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Kathy, I highly recommend the Gospel of John; the gospel of love... Godspeed in your quest. TL |
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| Final Call | Jul 20 2008, 07:50 AM Post #11 |
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HE STILL LOVES YOU When the world outside's been closing in around you, And the way from here is more than you can see. And the day's been more then you've had strength to handle, When a man is more than you know how to be. When the ones you love are trapped in lies and sorrow, And you just cant lift the weight that holds them there. When your frinds have gone and left you empty handed, And the lonliness is just too much to bear. He still loves you..He's just waiting, For your struggles and your strategies to end. He's been beside you every long and weary mile, If you'll just let Him lead the way He'll be your friend. When at last you're tired of trying to be a christian And you've seen the end of all that you can do When you realise how little your worth without Him He'll still be reaching out with love to you He still loves you..He's just waiting, For your struggles and your strategies to end. He's been beside you every long and weary mile, If you'll just let Him lead the way He'll be your friend. His love never ends! ===================================================== NEVER LET GO I know what you've been hearing Ive seen you hide your fear. Embarrassed by your weknesses Afraid to let me near. I wish you knew how much I long For you to understand No matter what may happen child I'll never let go of your hand I know you've been forsaken By all you've known before When you failed their expectations They frowned and closed the door And even though your heart itself Should lose the will to stand No matter what may happen child I'll never let go of your hand. The life that I have given you No one can take away Iv'e sealed it with my spirit, blood and word. The everlasting Father has made His covenant with you And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard So dont you fear to show them All the love I have for you I'll be with you everywhere In everything you do And even if you do it wrong And miss the joy I'd planned No matter what may happen child I'll never let go of your hand Edited by Final Call, Jul 20 2008, 07:53 AM.
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| w8n4him | Jul 20 2008, 09:07 AM Post #12 |
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Wow Kathy, I really can't add to what anybody has said. For myself, over the years, the Lord has put me in several situations that have forced me to my knees in tears, giving all to Him because I couldn't handle it anymore. That is how I learned to be able to trust Him becuase he ALWAYS came through for me, in every kind of situation. Job, money, family. More recently, I prayed that I would become more of a producer of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, specifically patience. wow. Be careful what you ask for, eh? He has taught me patience! He has thrown everything that drives me up a wall to me constantly........I have learned patience. I still struggle, but I have gotten a lot better.MOST recently, when I truly surrendered ALL to the Lord, that means family, money, job, belongings - I was scared. I was scared because i saw what happened to a friend of mine when she did that. But I made that decision. Now I have the loss of my son just 10 weeks ago. But I also know that my God has my son,and my son is protected and loved and safe. And I continue to grow closer to the Lord as I continually rely on Him for everything........ It's a journey to be sure. The first step is heartfelt commitment to surrender to Him. |
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| kgreen20 | Jul 20 2008, 09:39 AM Post #13 |
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LOL. I know better than to pray for patience, w8n4him, as it's one of the requests that just aren't safe to make. Rebuilding and restoration--I can surely safely pray for those. Thanks for the suggestion, Methuselah. I've been reading passages from the Gospel of John, but I feel the need to branch out. Edited by kgreen20, Jul 20 2008, 09:43 AM.
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| MoreofHim | Jul 20 2008, 11:12 AM Post #14 |
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I just have to laugh at this one, W8nforhim. Because I remember my Pastor telling us from the pulpit, to never pray for patience! He said, you will be in for it if you do. He said this joking, of course. I needed patience, so I prayed for it anyway. And, like you... my patience was tested from every direction, until FINALLY, it was produced in me and I overcame my nature. Thank God!!!!!!!!!!! You know, Kathy, I say this from experience and the depths of my heart... you can choose to skirt around the obstacles in life to avoid discomfort OR you can confront them. Before I knew God, I read a book, called "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck. This book is all about finding freedom and the truth about ourself. This book, though not Christian, broke the ground for me and by the time I discovered God and learned of the narrow road... I was already walking it to some degree. This idea of walking the narrow road is biblical... notice in God's word there are two roads we can choose. And it is truly a choice. The wide one, which avoids ALL discomfort and rather seeks all the comforts and pleasures of the world, the one that actually leads away from God, that pursues its own life, its own form of godliness and happiness, actually leads to destruction. It is a road of self-deception. But the harder road... the narrow one, the road less traveled, leads to God. This is the road that you are afraid of. This is the road that few are on. This road is not comfortable. But this is the road that leads to LIFE and freedom. This is the road where you will have a true encounter with the living God. This is the road where you will grow in your knowledge of Jesus Christ and where His character will be formed in you. I noticed a formula, if you will, in my own walk with God... I noticed it in hindsight, as I pondered the work of God in me: 1. it began with seeking Him (diligence) 2. then my faith grew as I heard the Word (faith) 3. then I changed my course (repented) because I wanted His best (virtue) 4. then I began to learn who God says I am and seek God's ways (knowledge) 5. then my sinful nature was restrained (temperance) 6. then long-suffering and perseverance toward others was produced in me (patience) 7. Then righteousness was manifest in me (godliness) 8. Then a deep well of love for others sprung up in me (brotherly kindness) 9. Finally, I have become a servant and give Him away to the poor, the hungry, the broken, the destitute. (charity) "And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8 Maybe you can see through my illustration, where you stopped growing. I hope this blesses you. |
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| kgreen20 | Jul 20 2008, 11:25 AM Post #15 |
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I'm not looking to make my life as bad as it can possibly be, MoreofHim; I don't have that kind of strength. That's why I know better than to pray for patience--the cure would be worse than the disease! It really would be. If God's purpose is to make our circumstances so unpleasant that they weed out everyone but the very strongest, I guess I can consider myself weeded out already, because I'm just not that strong, if at all. The plain truth is, I'm not strong, and I'm not brave. All I want is to be close to God and have a loving relationship with Him. To feel loved by Him and to know that I can safely talk to Him and have my prayers heard, etc. I don't want my whole life to be miserable!!! Edited by kgreen20, Jul 20 2008, 11:25 AM.
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| emptyme | Jul 20 2008, 01:49 PM Post #16 |
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Dearest Kathy, I've been a lurker here for several months...so, the occasion of encouraging you has brought me out into the open! Forgive my abrupt appearance on the scene, but I am compelled by God's Holy Spirit to write you. Yes, the heart is deceitful above all things, but I don't think it's your heart telling you that "God will expect more of me than I can do; God will hurt me; God will take things from me that I like; God will make me give up things I enjoy and do things I hate." Etc. Those statements are coming from the enemy himself and you have believed them. Satan can't read your mind, but he can put thoughts into your mind. This is a spiritual battle in which satan has managed THUS FAR to keep you from operating in your calling and gifts and has you bound up with fear. His plan is to derail God's plans and purpose for your precious life. He is stealing your testimony and robbing those to whom God would have you minister. Satan is a thief and a liar. God's perfect love - Jesus- casts out fear; you have not been given a spirit of fear, but of one of power, love and a sound mind - the Mind of Christ even! His grace abounds to you and is sufficient for you - in your weakness His power is made perfect! 2 Corinthians 10 is a great passage for you to meditate on. If those thoughts return and they probably will because satan is persistent, demolish them with the truth of the Word, pull them down, take them captive and make them obedient to Christ. These thoughts have been exalted above the knowledge of God. The Name of Jesus is higher, it is above any other name- what is it satan is telling you? That you are weak, inadequate, ill-equipped, stupid? Again, he is a liar. By His divine power He has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him. Let's make it personal here: Kathy, by His divine power He has given you everything you need for life and godliness! You might say, "Father God, I thank you that by Your divine power You have given me everything I need for life and godliness!" You can find other Scriptures that fit your specific need, but turn it around and make it a prayer back to God. Above all, remember you can do all things through Christ! His all-surpassing power resides in your jar of clay! Greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world. Step out in faith and watch God do what only He can do through you and in you! You are in my prayers... it is a privilege to lift you up to the Throne. For His glory forevermore, Cheryl |
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| kgreen20 | Jul 20 2008, 02:14 PM Post #17 |
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Thank you, Cheryl.
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| MoreofHim | Jul 20 2008, 02:19 PM Post #18 |
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I understand what you are saying Kathy. So let me tell you this... before I found God (back in 1999), I owned two homes, owned my car, had a high paying job, had no debt and had thousands in the bank, was traveling, was experiencing life to the fullest, had many friends and acquaintances, I was in the best shape of my life, I had plenty to do... and I was going strong. But at the end of the day... each and every day... when all the excitement was over, when it was just me under heaven, I realized I was empty. Empty until the next pursuit or the next trip, or the promotion, or the next... there was always NEXT, something just out of reach. I wasn't satisfied with anything, though by the world's standards, I WAS RICH. This is the point when I turned to God and turned away from my own life, that had left me barren at the end of the day. And yes... I walked away from everything. The job, the trips, the homes, the friends and acquaintances, all of it. It wasn't a hard choice... because I had already come to a place in my own heart of acknowledging that I had done it my way for 30 years and I was empty. So I thought I would try it God's way and see if I could find true happiness. I believed with all my heart His word that encourages us to seek first the Kingdom of God, and then everything else would be added to me. So that's what I did. But it couldn't begin for me until I realized that I had this need. Maybe that is where you are at. Anyway... it sounds quite scary to walk away from your life. But it was easy, believe me, once you take a true inventory of your life and realize just how barren it really is... once you realize that the cisterns that you drink from are broken. If you are honest with yourself I think you will see this. The wilderness experience was only for a season. Nature has many examples of this process... like the larvae that goes into a cocoon phase, to emerge later as a butterfly. Anyway... we are living at the end of the age and we all know it. The day of decision is today. I am thankful that I found God in 1999, when there was still time for indecision. I praise His name that I had a true hunger for Him at that time. The things of this world are coming to an end, they are passing away, very quickly. His word does tell us to pray that our flight not be in winter... this will be a very difficult season to be trying to find the mountain of the Lord. I pray that you will choose to begin that climb now. |
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| kgreen20 | Jul 20 2008, 02:56 PM Post #19 |
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Yes, this age is drawing to its close. You are right about that. We'll never agree on what I'm about to say, MoreofHim, because you're a committed post-Tribber and I'm an equally committed pre-Tribber, but I know that in a very short time, that trumpet is going to blow and we're going to be caught up, and I can't wait!!     Meanwhile, I need God to do a miracle work in my heart, to heal and rebuild it. Not regenerate it--that's already been done. I'm His, and no one can take me out of His hand. But rebuild and restore it to wholeness, yes, or at least as close to wholeness as possible in the time that's left before the Church Age officially ends. And the first step I need is for my heart to be reprogrammed.Edited by kgreen20, Jul 20 2008, 02:56 PM.
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| 7SevenThunders7 | Jul 20 2008, 03:34 PM Post #20 |
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Hi Kathy,  I wanted to tell you how much I love you and respect your strength and courage of conviction and humility. I know that the Lord also loves these things about you. I will pray that you will also know the Love of the Lord for you 100% as a fact that will never leave you the rest of your life. I am not saying that the process He will take you through will be easy, but you will know after He has completed His work in you, that it was all worth it, and you will know the joy unspeakable. Not merely the "happiness" which relies on the next new thing happening, but a joy that pervades even the worst circumstances, the kind of joy that lights up your soul, the same joy that was in Paul when he was in prison. Don't fear the circumstances, for circumstances will arise whether you have totally given yourself to the Lord or not, as the rain falls on the righteous as well as the unrighteous. Don't look to the circumstances and blame the bad ones on God, but rather know that throughout any challenge you may face, the Lord will be there for you and love you regardless of what you have done or will ever do. That would be works earning you His Love. God's Love was already shown to you on Calvary, when the Lord gave you His life. Don't be afraid to say to the Lord, "My life is in your hands, take everything that is not of you!" Because everything that is not of Him will only cause you sorrow and pain in the long run. I know this from a long, painful experience in my twenties where I couldn't give up my boyfriend of ten years and stop sinning because "I loved him" and I felt insecure and afraid every time I tried to pull away from the relationship. If I had trusted the Lord, and had not let myself stay in a relationship where I was not respected as a Daughter of Christ, it would have kept me from experiencing the life-shattering pain that almost made me commit suicide. So tell yourself this Kathy, no matter what you think is good for you and for your life, God knows the whole picture. God can see and knows what is best for your life and will bring you the most joy and comfort in the long run. Now in order for you to let Him have control, you realize, you don't have the faith in Him it will take to give it all to Him. You have actually realized an important truth; that you are not suffient by yourself and that you need certain strengths from the Savior. These strengths are Gifts from the Holy Spirit, you can't obtain them all by yourself, "no one is good, except God alone." (Mark 10:18 Luke 18:19) So what I am going to pray for you and ask you to pray for yourself is for three Gifts from the Holy Spirit: Faith Hope Love I wrestled with these three things for years thinking there was just something wrong with me. Why don't I have faith like other Christians do? Why don't I have any hope at all (Hope is the enemies favorite thing to steal from us) Why don't have that kind of love? Why does my heart seem cold and callous at times? Shouldn't I have more love than this? So I prayed one day when I was feeling hopeless for the Lord to restore my Hope and I heard a voice one morning that I now know is the Holy Spirit say to me, "I will restore to you your second dignity." From that day on I had my Hope back. So next, I read in the bible 1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." And that's when it hit me that I needed to pray for my other "dignities" to be restored to me also! Hope was my second dignity according to the Holy Spirit, so that was when I knew that Faith was the first dignity and Love was our third dignity. These are our dignities as Children of God and they allow us to be who we are supposed to be in the Lord Jesus Christ! So Kathy, please pray this with me: My Lord Jesus Christ, I realize that the enemy has stolen my dignity as a Daughter of yours and I am asking you now to restore to me your Faith, Hope and Love so that I may be everything I was suppose to be in You! I know that I cannot obtain these Gifts without Your Precious Holy Spirit and I acknowledge that I am unworthy and that your Love is a free Gift because you have loved me from the hill of Calvary. I accept your Blood as a covering, I accept your Gifts as a mantle upon my shoulders, I accept your Faith and Love as a breastplate and your Hope of Salvation as a helmet to protect me from the enemy. I thank you Lord for restoring these to me and I ask that you ready me for battle with an outpouring of your Holy Spirit, Amen! Also Kathy, when I read the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) I realize the Love the Lord has for me, regardless of whether I earned it or am deserving of it. The Father in the Lord's parable, could very well have killed the Son for what He did, but rather, He lasvished rewards and Mercy upon his child and welcomed him home with open arms. Now if you remained by the side of the Father always (as with the other son in the parable) You have had the rewards and everything that belongs to the Father, belongs to you also and can be assured of His Love for you. He loves both of His Sons, the one who had gone astray as well as the one who had remained faithfully by His side, but the parable shows you the Father's unfailing love, even when we have actually failed Him or just feel that we have. Either way, you can be assured that He loves you! ~7Seven |
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7:51 PM Jan 8